A New Year

I have just finished reviewing 2008 and agree that 'not much' when written down is actually 'enough'. Cutting back or cutting out some activities gave me space to try new things and to meet new people. A great way to broaden life. University went well and I loved the mental challenges, looking at life and situations from another perspective. Possibilities pop up as you meet new people all having a different focus on the same topic. Then come the surprises like being asked back to teach in 2009 because of the value you added to children's learning and the number of people disappointed at not being able to get into your previous courses. Reassuring that all the physical effort is worth it. The difficulty experienced in separating from past passions is rewarded as it has allowed new ones to emerge. They say one door closes and another opens...so true and you don't know what until you have taken the step. What has happened on the health front? That saga still continues, it seems, like America, we have an illness policy rather than a health one and we all need to know more about illness and treatments than the GP in order to get help. You are rewarded for taking care of your health by not being eligible for services or help to obtain valuable supplements.

Now looking at the next stage of this reflection, which is, to decide what things haven't worked. This has definitely got to be the body, however the body has continued to give service even if it has seized up a lot towards the end of this year. (more on the fix program later) What things have past their 'use by' dates, I think the place we are living in could do with a change. So could my temper and frustration at not getting the help and support I need. The trick here is learning who to ask and what level of support you need. Tricky when you don't know either nor are you aware of what is available. Negative thoughts must definitely leave. But there is not much I will walk (ha ha) away from in 2009 more what I will walk to.

Something interesting or rather reflective that has happened over the last few days is, a friend of Alix's has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. At only early 20's, they have been given less than a year to live. Makes you somewhat reflective when we discuss how you would spend it. Make your own memories or memories for others. We thought memories for others rather than self, although catching up with those people you haven't seen for a long while and possibly many miles away, could rate here. Very hard to deal with when your life is just beginning and there are so many possibilities, maybe that's what to do at this time of year, look at things like it is your last. What would you change? What would you keep? What would you get rid of?

I am off to finish my journal and think a bit more about changes and additions for the year year ahead. Hope you all had a great and restful holiday time. I would love to hear your comments or feedback. Take care till next time.

Back again....

What an interesting few weeks..... Elections, exams and life in general. Some things will change, some will not and the one thing that is guaranteed is that life will go on....
Back again to those questions because now we are all going to have many. The big questions for us all are; will there really be any change, what will change, how will it happen and how will it affect us. So let's not get too caught up in the big picture of it all and just focus on us. To me this means concentrating on our contribution to our little patch rather than trying to influence and address the big picture.
Following on from the changes politically perhaps it is time for us all to have a look at ourselves and start to make changes? Where do we start? What questions do we need to ask ourselves to begin that journey?
The very first thing I am going to get myself to do is to list 'I am...' This is the best way to remember ourselves and to get down on paper who we are. Don't for get the words like...strong, influential, caring, happy, ...along with... an accountant, a researcher, all these thing will remind us what we are and who we are.... try to get as many as possible. My aim is 100+
What's next?

Question 1. What do I want? The usual answer is not required here. No room for 'That new car', 'More money' etc. I want you to really think about what you want and how what you want will look like, what it will feel like, really think about this one. Let yourself think about it for a couple of days and then write it all down. This could be the family, what you really want it to be like or your relationship. Just focus on one area to begin with and really think about it. What would it feel like, look like?

Question 2. What am I like when I am at my best? Really think about this one and write it all down. It can be very telling and will more often than not take you out of where you are into another place of possibility, especially if you are having a few struggles at the moment.

Thanks for allowing me to drip...I am off to work on these questions. I will be back soon with my answers and I hope you have taken the chance to work on yours. I look forward to your comments.
Till next time......

Here I go again.....

As you know language is a passion of mine and the way that we use language to express ourselves. The word that I still find fascinating is our use of the word "We" and when we really mean I. Step back and think for a moment, when you say "We" are you including others (really?) especially when there are no others to be included. Are we taking it for granted that others will be happy to go along with us and agree with our opinion?. This interesting word and its usage can have some interesting effects on people. Some may disagree with being included in your "We" and want to express themselves differently. Then there are those that you use it on and they may feel disappointed that you have included others when they wanted your personal comment or opinion. I often think of the poor wife or husband who is included in the sweeping "We" statements who may in fact have a very different opinion and being included takes away their rights to express themselves. We could also look at why someone may do that and of course there are lots of reasons, good and bad, the one that springs to mind is that they are not comfortable with themselves or expressing their own opinion so include others to cover up. Whatever the reason next time someone uses "We" just ask them ..."you and who else" you may get an interesting answer.


Sniffy the rat and I have become close friends lately. His behaviour has been modified and changes whenever I have an hour to spare and feel like playing. He has made me think a lot about learning behaviour and how this may affect language. We reinforce behaviour to get results with children and with adults, so do we reinforce language the same way? People around us mirror our language in just the same way that we adopt the body language of those we live with. So it stands to reason that if we continually use negative language then those around us will do the same. Both at work and in the family. Do you ever find that one person is grumpy and before you know it everyone else is too. The same must happen with language. We start with the odd negative word and before you know it the whole family has a negative attitude. The great thing is that once you are aware and make a small change everything changes. A little positive reinforcement or silent commendations as well as concious effort and things change like magic.


Well moving on to greater things and the art work is complete. Ardent followers look out for a photo(posted) and the MS art exibition dates and the "psychology of words". Photo and exhibition dates to follow. MS week 1st -7th Sept. Exhibition 17th -28th Aotea Centre Auckland NZ

A quick one

Laying in bed and thinking last night (or was it that drug induced fit?) it occurred to me that something had happened. I had been a part of an organisation for about 5 years eventually being responsible for all it's administration and feeling this had taken over from my enjoyment in the purpose of the organisation, I decided to not seek re-election to the executive. I had hoped that this would make me feel more in touch and involved with the true purpose and spirit of the organisation again. What I found interesting is that there seems to be nothing there, am I forgotten, no longer a valued part of the team? No communication, no assurances am I no longer a member of the organisation. My dues have still been paid, I have committed 5 years of my life time and energy to something that probably didn't need or want me....sad but that's how it has made me feel. All I have done is not want to be filled with administration. How many other organisations are there that act the same? Members give service and loyalty with no thanks and then when they are no longer able to hold things up they are discarded? Abandoned. This organisation is all about self development, they did assign mentors, but mentors only seem to work when it is advantageous for both the mentor and the mentee. It is not just me that I am concerned for in this organisation. They are encouraging others to join with the purpose of helping to keep it going, a great idea and the only way to move forward, but someone needs to be responsible for the communication and motivation of those members, seeing to their needs and making sure that they get the information on activities relating to the greater network. Keeping it small and insular hurts and defeats the organisation objectives. It is probably time to revisit the original objectives and goals give it a bit of a shake up and re chart the direction. Help is out there but you need to Look Ask and Communicate. Others have advice to give as well as a small amount of time and energy be the strength that you are stand up and show it.

It's OK to be me!

Brendan posed a interesting statement last week about working on "It's OK to be me" this makes me think that if it is OK to be me then it is OK for others to be them too. We need to sit back and accept that others are responsible for their own actions, thoughts and reactions. Often we feel that people are getting at us or are working against us but really it is themselves that they are working around.
Not calling someone back or returning that email doesn't mean they don't want to communicate but just show that their priorities are elsewhere. The sad thing comes when they make all those excuses for why they didn't return your call rather than just being honest and saying other priorities got in the way. Accepting that others have the choice on how they behave helps in lots of situations and really does reduce the stress of communications. The most recent example of this was the girls and their boyfriend dilemmas. They realised that by texting a question they would get one of 3 answers and this was all that was needed to determine the future of the relationship. They could get no reply, a positive answer or a negative answer. But no matter what, it was not about them, it was purely about the other person.
We often have great expectations of others and often this sets them up for failure even before they begin. They may not be able to meet our exacting expectations or these expectations are not clearly conveyed so they have no idea what is expected and will fall short. We often think we know someone so well that they will achieve for us and then become shocked to discover that they can not deliver. This is a product of our expectations and communications not the other person who as we remember has the Right to reply in their own way. This is part of taking others for granted isn't it? Our expectations of others are taking it for granted that they will deliver for us? This often happens in our relationships with wife's husbands etc we get so used to expecting them to deliver for us that we often forget that they to have rights and and are allowed be in control of their own response and decisions and that it is not always about you sometimes it is about them.
So it is "OK to be me" but we should also realise that it applys to everyone. Don't take others for granted, if you have a question, ask it and the other person will reply to the best of their ability.

Can you answer my questions????

Life is a bitch and then you die. Well that is what they say and at the moment I couldn't agree more. Life at the moment seems to be one struggle after another. Exams over and the relief from that and then sicko MS jumps up and bites. Seems like now we have time to see what you are made of.... Friends seem to melt away as you drift into isolation...


MS is making me really tired and this week my legs have decided on a communal go slow..in the past they have been known to work independently but this week they have decided that they will defy me together. Not too much of a problem during the day..unless you want to go somewhere but at night when a bathroom visit is necessary it really become an issue. Dr visit doesn't seem to really conclude anything, just to say how sorry he is and what a terrible thing MS is....I keep hoping for some miracle but his confirmation today really just means more of the same. Don't know if it is an advance but have been prescribed steroids for 27 days not sure if this will help, but will to do anything to get the legs back at this stage.


My BIG QUESTION IS.... I have all of these writings..all these short stories but where do I go to get help to publish them or even start with my book...people say you should be a writer but...where does one start? I don't want them wasted or even trapped in my computer forever, they need to be out there breathing and making people think....so anyone reading this comments please...suggestions for getting these lonely words out into the world...

Take care all I am off to rest and let the drugs take effect...

a statement to ponder

Hi to all my loyal followers, well Nina anyway.
Last week I had coffee with a good friend who always makes me look at the bigger picture. She is very spiritual and gave me a few questions to follow on from last blog.
She made a simple statement that really got me thinking 'I chose my parents well' so I got thinking why did I choose my parents and why did my children choose me as a mother. An interesting and positive way to think about our life choices. Powerful stuff - makes you think!

So.... why did I choose my parents? This has taken some soul searching and is not complete yet. At this moment I can see that they have given me opportunities to make my own decision and mistakes and fix them myself. Perhaps in a past life I had others do everything for me and I resented that. I know there are times now that I wish someone would do it for me, especially the things I find hard. Telling someone how I really feel for example... I would rather someone else did it especially if it is not nice. And then there are those hard jobs, the ones that need tough decisions or a bit of tough love, it would be great to have someone else deal with them. I have created boundries for myself to keep safe and this has made my world quite small. I realise that I have to do it myself and it is ok to stand up for me. These thoughts are still growing....
So why did my girls choose me?.....I would like to think because I encourage them to speak up and not to feel afraid of the world. To treat others with respect and they will be treated with respect back and not be afraid to give it a go. To know that they are loved. To know what that love is and to feel supported no matter what. Heard and understood. Be open to all ideas and suggestions and accept everyone as truly unique.
I know as a person I sometimes slip in these for myself and have managed to become a bit too cynical lately. Something to work on.
Well study calls and sleep.more drips....later