A quick one

Laying in bed and thinking last night (or was it that drug induced fit?) it occurred to me that something had happened. I had been a part of an organisation for about 5 years eventually being responsible for all it's administration and feeling this had taken over from my enjoyment in the purpose of the organisation, I decided to not seek re-election to the executive. I had hoped that this would make me feel more in touch and involved with the true purpose and spirit of the organisation again. What I found interesting is that there seems to be nothing there, am I forgotten, no longer a valued part of the team? No communication, no assurances am I no longer a member of the organisation. My dues have still been paid, I have committed 5 years of my life time and energy to something that probably didn't need or want me....sad but that's how it has made me feel. All I have done is not want to be filled with administration. How many other organisations are there that act the same? Members give service and loyalty with no thanks and then when they are no longer able to hold things up they are discarded? Abandoned. This organisation is all about self development, they did assign mentors, but mentors only seem to work when it is advantageous for both the mentor and the mentee. It is not just me that I am concerned for in this organisation. They are encouraging others to join with the purpose of helping to keep it going, a great idea and the only way to move forward, but someone needs to be responsible for the communication and motivation of those members, seeing to their needs and making sure that they get the information on activities relating to the greater network. Keeping it small and insular hurts and defeats the organisation objectives. It is probably time to revisit the original objectives and goals give it a bit of a shake up and re chart the direction. Help is out there but you need to Look Ask and Communicate. Others have advice to give as well as a small amount of time and energy be the strength that you are stand up and show it.

It's OK to be me!

Brendan posed a interesting statement last week about working on "It's OK to be me" this makes me think that if it is OK to be me then it is OK for others to be them too. We need to sit back and accept that others are responsible for their own actions, thoughts and reactions. Often we feel that people are getting at us or are working against us but really it is themselves that they are working around.
Not calling someone back or returning that email doesn't mean they don't want to communicate but just show that their priorities are elsewhere. The sad thing comes when they make all those excuses for why they didn't return your call rather than just being honest and saying other priorities got in the way. Accepting that others have the choice on how they behave helps in lots of situations and really does reduce the stress of communications. The most recent example of this was the girls and their boyfriend dilemmas. They realised that by texting a question they would get one of 3 answers and this was all that was needed to determine the future of the relationship. They could get no reply, a positive answer or a negative answer. But no matter what, it was not about them, it was purely about the other person.
We often have great expectations of others and often this sets them up for failure even before they begin. They may not be able to meet our exacting expectations or these expectations are not clearly conveyed so they have no idea what is expected and will fall short. We often think we know someone so well that they will achieve for us and then become shocked to discover that they can not deliver. This is a product of our expectations and communications not the other person who as we remember has the Right to reply in their own way. This is part of taking others for granted isn't it? Our expectations of others are taking it for granted that they will deliver for us? This often happens in our relationships with wife's husbands etc we get so used to expecting them to deliver for us that we often forget that they to have rights and and are allowed be in control of their own response and decisions and that it is not always about you sometimes it is about them.
So it is "OK to be me" but we should also realise that it applys to everyone. Don't take others for granted, if you have a question, ask it and the other person will reply to the best of their ability.